Monthly Archives: June 2015

The Bourne Confusion

I’m a very private person (says the woman writing the blog for all the Internet to see). I don’t want men to know anything about me. I mean, I’m practically auditioning for the next Bourne movie. There were those movies with Matt Damon, and then the one with that other guy.. they’re going to keep making these movies and — eventually — they’re going to come around to me. I mean, there’s only so many people in the world willing to be in a Bourne movie. I’m liking my odds.

The point of the matter is, I don’t like men to know anything about me, which is great when you’re doing online dating. I can tell them I live somewhere different than I really live. I can tell them a completely fake name (since it’s just a username anyway). I mean, I won’t let just anybody be my Facebook friend and that’s not even people I’m trying to date. When I was an intern on a popular radio morning show in Baltimore, I got tons of Facebook friend requests. While the other interns and DJs would accept anyone who clicked the “Add Friend” button, I accepted none of them. To be my “Friend,” you have to go through a very rigorous two step process. Continue reading

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Status: Rejected.

Two posts ago, I mentioned that one of my super awesome blog followers reached out to me via e-mail, which spurred me to jump back into this blog (even though I haven’t been dating). The young man (who I’ll call Carlos) lives in South America and did something really interesting after reading my blog… he decided to join online dating.

Now why in God’s green earth someone would read this blog and decide to join online dating is beyond me, but I hear this all the time. I can only speculate why someone would join online dating after reading my blog.. and you know how much I love to speculate! Maybe you realize, after reading about all the duds I’ve met on online dating, that you won’t be the worst person out there. Maybe you realize how crazy super awesome I am and think, ‘hey, there’s probably other girls out there just as cool as Carin is!’ Maybe you think, ‘hey, I like to cuddle! It sounds like everyone on dating sites likes to cuddle. This sounds like a fool-proof way to find a cuddling partner.’

However it came about, Carlos decided eHarmony was the site for him and he took one courageous step towards the tireless quest for love. He logged into the website. He filled out the world’s longest, most ridiculous survey so he could find his one true love, his future bride. He clicked ENTER, and then… Continue reading

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The online dating commercial that went awry

This week I’ve been binge watching Scandal because I’m super behind. You know, the show where everyone is either getting shot and bleeding out in a car trunk, or otherwise they’re having sex with the President. Or maybe both. Simultaneously.

Anyway, the reason this is relevant is because when I’m behind on a TV show, I watch it On Demand. And when you watch a show On Demand, chances are you’ll see the same commercial over and over and over again. (I feel like this blog post is turning into one of those commercials where the final message is “don’t eat fried chicken out of a garbage bin! Switch to Geico!”) I wound up in just such a predicament — watching the same commercial for one online dating site over and over and over again. At first, it didn’t bother me, but remember: I’m on a Scandal watching binge, meaning as I write this, I’m four episodes deep and things are starting to get weird. Pretty soon, I can probably expect Russian/Iraqi/Canadian spies to come bursting in and kidnap me to take me to some hole in the floor or something. I don’t know what’s happening anymore. But I do know by now, I’ve seen this online dating commercial a lot.

What you may or may not know about me is I work in communications. I am, in fact, a master of communications. No, wait, I have a Master’s in communications. I keep trying to get people to call me Master Carin, sort of like if I had a Ph.D. they’d call me Doctor, but no luck so far. I digress…

So with all of my awesome communication know-how, I started to really process this commercial… and the more I watched it, the more I realized it is really the anti-commercial. This commercial 100% makes me not want to invest in their dating site. So here it is:

Continue reading

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