They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Well the road for online dating is paved with excuses. Lots and lots of excuses.
I was having my semi-yearly pity party about how I’ll never find love. Seriously, we all have them, and you know EXACTLY what I mean.
So I decided to jump onto my online dating profile. Maybe my inbox is jam packed with all the men who want to go out with me. Maybe I have message after message about how lovely and kind and fun I sound and how they all want dates.
Oh, no? No messages? Oh… well…
I mean, maybe some new guys have joined the pool since I last looked! Maybe I need to look around a bit. I like quiet, dorky, socially awkward guys! Maybe I just need to have a look around.
And that’s when the excuses start.
The thing about meeting people in real life is that differences seem fun, like no big deal, totally fine.
Online, they seem like insurmountable odds.
So I find a guy who has a 94% match rate with me. Tall, cute, nerdy. Perfect. But he’s a vegan. I can’t date a vegan! I like burgers too much. And I don’t like vegetables. Or tofu. Or sprouts. Or whatever the hell else vegans eat.
Here’s another guy… 92% match! Tall, cute, nerdy. Perfect. But he’s not really sure about religion. I can’t date a guy who doesn’t have any belief system! I mentor youth in my church, for crying out loud! How will I explain his heathen ways to the kids?! How can we get married in a church!? We won’t be able to! I’ll be excommunicated. I’ll have to get married in an alley outside a Burger King. Unless he’s vegan too! Then where will we get married!?!?!?
Here’s one: a 90% match. Tall, cute, nerdy. Perfect. But he likes to run and hike. Oh my gosh, he’s going to want me to go running with him, isn’t he? He’s going to wake me up at 5 in the morning for a quick jog before work. We’re going to have to buy matching running shorts and tennis shoes and he’s going to make me feel bad if I have to stop because I can’t run a mile, or half a mile, or a quarter of the mile, unless there’s some sort of food incentive on the other end. And he probably only eats vegetables. Or tofu. Or sprouts.
It’s too much!! TOO MUCH!!!
If I met guy A, B, or C in person, I’d probably say “oh, you’re vegan? That’s cool. What kind of stuff do you eat?” or “oh, you don’t have any strong opinions about religion? That’s cool. What kind of stuff do you do on Sunday morning since you’re not in church?” or “oh, you run? That’s cool. How often?” But instead, I just click the X and move on because in the realm of online dating, any difference is insurmountable, and the “right” guy who isn’t an athiest vegan runner is right around the corner…
Apparently I still have a few more corners to look around.