Category Archives: Confused By Dating

The Price of Love

There are a lot of things in my life that I would just rather pay someone to do for me than actually do it myself. Change my car’s oil. Cut my hair. Put on my shoes in the morning. You know, the usual stuff. Sometimes, I just can’t be bothered to learn how to do this shit for myself, or frankly I’ll never do it as well as someone else. That’s why the TV dinner industry exists — for people like me who subsist on crappy frozen food because I simply cannot figure out how to properly roast a chicken. Have you tried? It’s impossible.

So of course it makes TOTAL sense that when it comes to finding a mate, entrepreneurs stepped up and said “hey, people will pay for anything. Let’s make them pay to meet their husband or wife!”… and we FELL FOR IT!

So the question I want to address here is… how much is it worth to meet the woman or man of your dreams? What really is the price of love?

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Dating Offline

My parents met in graduate school. My oldest sister met her husband in college. My other sister, in some sort of Cory and Topanga bullshit, met her husband in middle school. Now that’s just not fair.

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The thing about dating in your twenties (and beyond) is, if you didn’t meet your significant other in school, then where the hell are you supposed to find them?

I’ve been talking with some single girlfriends lately and this has been the theme. We missed that brief window in our education to get our MRS degree. Instead, I wound up with a BA (two majors and a minor) and an MA…and what good is that (for matters of the heart, anyway)?! Now that university is just a memory, where do you find a suitable match?

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A tale of two sillies

Ok guys, I just can’t even right now. Seriously.

Many of you know I haven’t posted on my blog in a long time because I haven’t been dating, and it’s hard to write on a dating blog when you’re not dating. Recently, though, I decided to start casually looking on online dating sites and it all came rushing back. All the ridiculous men, the terrible matches, and the horrible, horribly, awkward, uncomfortable conversations. At first, I was horrified. And then I remembered, hey past Carin, that’s why you started that blog! If you can’t find love, you might as well have a laugh, right? So I’m back for you to all laugh in my misfortune.

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Next.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Well the road for online dating is paved with excuses. Lots and lots of excuses.

I was having my semi-yearly pity party about how I’ll never find love. Seriously, we all have them, and you know EXACTLY what I mean.

So I decided to jump onto my online dating profile. Maybe my inbox is jam packed with all the men who want to go out with me. Maybe I have message after message about how lovely and kind and fun I sound and how they all want dates.

Oh, no? No messages? Oh… well…

I mean, maybe some new guys have joined the pool since I last looked! Maybe need to look around a bit. I like quiet, dorky, socially awkward guys! Maybe I just need to have a look around.

And that’s when the excuses start.

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The Bourne Confusion

I’m a very private person (says the woman writing the blog for all the Internet to see). I don’t want men to know anything about me. I mean, I’m practically auditioning for the next Bourne movie. There were those movies with Matt Damon, and then the one with that other guy.. they’re going to keep making these movies and — eventually — they’re going to come around to me. I mean, there’s only so many people in the world willing to be in a Bourne movie. I’m liking my odds.

The point of the matter is, I don’t like men to know anything about me, which is great when you’re doing online dating. I can tell them I live somewhere different than I really live. I can tell them a completely fake name (since it’s just a username anyway). I mean, I won’t let just anybody be my Facebook friend and that’s not even people I’m trying to date. When I was an intern on a popular radio morning show in Baltimore, I got tons of Facebook friend requests. While the other interns and DJs would accept anyone who clicked the “Add Friend” button, I accepted none of them. To be my “Friend,” you have to go through a very rigorous two step process. Continue reading

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Status: Rejected.

Two posts ago, I mentioned that one of my super awesome blog followers reached out to me via e-mail, which spurred me to jump back into this blog (even though I haven’t been dating). The young man (who I’ll call Carlos) lives in South America and did something really interesting after reading my blog… he decided to join online dating.

Now why in God’s green earth someone would read this blog and decide to join online dating is beyond me, but I hear this all the time. I can only speculate why someone would join online dating after reading my blog.. and you know how much I love to speculate! Maybe you realize, after reading about all the duds I’ve met on online dating, that you won’t be the worst person out there. Maybe you realize how crazy super awesome I am and think, ‘hey, there’s probably other girls out there just as cool as Carin is!’ Maybe you think, ‘hey, I like to cuddle! It sounds like everyone on dating sites likes to cuddle. This sounds like a fool-proof way to find a cuddling partner.’

However it came about, Carlos decided eHarmony was the site for him and he took one courageous step towards the tireless quest for love. He logged into the website. He filled out the world’s longest, most ridiculous survey so he could find his one true love, his future bride. He clicked ENTER, and then… Continue reading

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The online dating commercial that went awry

This week I’ve been binge watching Scandal because I’m super behind. You know, the show where everyone is either getting shot and bleeding out in a car trunk, or otherwise they’re having sex with the President. Or maybe both. Simultaneously.

Anyway, the reason this is relevant is because when I’m behind on a TV show, I watch it On Demand. And when you watch a show On Demand, chances are you’ll see the same commercial over and over and over again. (I feel like this blog post is turning into one of those commercials where the final message is “don’t eat fried chicken out of a garbage bin! Switch to Geico!”) I wound up in just such a predicament — watching the same commercial for one online dating site over and over and over again. At first, it didn’t bother me, but remember: I’m on a Scandal watching binge, meaning as I write this, I’m four episodes deep and things are starting to get weird. Pretty soon, I can probably expect Russian/Iraqi/Canadian spies to come bursting in and kidnap me to take me to some hole in the floor or something. I don’t know what’s happening anymore. But I do know by now, I’ve seen this online dating commercial a lot.

What you may or may not know about me is I work in communications. I am, in fact, a master of communications. No, wait, I have a Master’s in communications. I keep trying to get people to call me Master Carin, sort of like if I had a Ph.D. they’d call me Doctor, but no luck so far. I digress…

So with all of my awesome communication know-how, I started to really process this commercial… and the more I watched it, the more I realized it is really the anti-commercial. This commercial 100% makes me not want to invest in their dating site. So here it is:

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Where did you go?

Over the past several months, I’ve done a lot of coming and going. I’ve made random posts and made lots of excuses and apologies. I’ve tried (poorly) to explain that I disappeared for a variety of reasons and made a lot of (unfulfilled) promises that I would once again post more regularly. But this is the no bullshit post where I really explain where I’ve gone and why I haven’t posted regularly. And it’s one very simple reason: I haven’t been dating. And the truth of the matter is, it’s very difficult to keep up a dating blog when you’re not dating.

I didn’t just want to leave it at that, though. You guys deserve more. I continue to be in awe of the love and support I get from my faithful readers — people who I’ve never met and will probably never know, as well as people who care for me and have held my hand through every step of the journey. A lot of this realization came about when I got an email a few weeks ago from just such a reader — a young man who lives in South America who, somehow, came across this blog and found something worthwhile in its pages and posts. This young man did something a lot of my readers did, something that continues to shock me, something that I can’t help but find to be so hilarious for my readers to do: he joined online dating.

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It’s All About Me

I spent a lot of time on this blog analyzing online dating, analyzing the men who I come across on these sites and the messages they send me. But what about me?

I decided to do something a little different for this post and examine how exactly I went about putting together my online dating profile. Why I decided to write what I wrote, (specifically in the “text” portion, i.e. hopefully it’s obvious that I listed by height as my actual height, and my religion as my actual religion, etc.), how I chose what pictures to post, etc. Because trust me, a lot of thought actually went into these decisions. All joking aside, I joined online dating in hopes of legitimately finding someone to spend my life with and I am still looking. This blog was just a happy accident and a fun side project.

So maybe, once we dive in, you’ll have some better insight into why I’m so miserably unsuccessful.

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Happy Valentine’s Ya Filthy Animal!

Valentine’s Day is often (un)affectionately referred to as “Singles Awareness Day.” As if I wasn’t aware of my singleness the other 364 days of the year.

So this Valentine’s Day I decided to celebrate Mardi Gras. That is, until the sky decided to poop out a bunch of snow that no one expected. So, you know… that happened.

Instead, I’ve decided maybe I should spend more time being aware that I’m single. Maybe actually being single, having my Facebook status say “single,” checking all the boxes on my taxes as “single,” and having a blog about being single just isn’t enough. Maybe I should have spent more time on February 14th really pondering what it means to be single. But since February 14th passed me by, let’s make February 17th the day to reeeallly dig into singleness. Let’s make February 17th “hey, you don’t have a boy/girlfriend!” day. It can be the day when your grandparents call you and ask if you’ve found a boy/girlfriend yet and your parents can ask why you’re still single and maybe its finally time to meet their coworker’s nephew who has that weird way that they slurp when they eat, but it’s really not THAT bad. And then your friends can have double dates with each other and you can stay at home because you don’t have anyone to double date with, so instead you can drink a bottle of cheap wine by yourself and cry into a large Papa Johns pizza while you watch Pretty Woman and think, “how did that skanky prostitute end up with Richard Gere? Maybe if I sang Prince in the bathtub I’d have a boyfriend, too.” Let’s make that a holiday. It seems like it would be less depressing to do that on a “holiday” than just some random Tuesday. And let’s make that holiday start today.

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