Tag Archives: eharmony

Status: Rejected.

Two posts ago, I mentioned that one of my super awesome blog followers reached out to me via e-mail, which spurred me to jump back into this blog (even though I haven’t been dating). The young man (who I’ll call Carlos) lives in South America and did something really interesting after reading my blog… he decided to join online dating.

Now why in God’s green earth someone would read this blog and decide to join online dating is beyond me, but I hear this all the time. I can only speculate why someone would join online dating after reading my blog.. and you know how much I love to speculate! Maybe you realize, after reading about all the duds I’ve met on online dating, that you won’t be the worst person out there. Maybe you realize how crazy super awesome I am and think, ‘hey, there’s probably other girls out there just as cool as Carin is!’ Maybe you think, ‘hey, I like to cuddle! It sounds like everyone on dating sites likes to cuddle. This sounds like a fool-proof way to find a cuddling partner.’

However it came about, Carlos decided eHarmony was the site for him and he took one courageous step towards the tireless quest for love. He logged into the website. He filled out the world’s longest, most ridiculous survey so he could find his one true love, his future bride. He clicked ENTER, and then… Continue reading

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The Chore Of Dating

This is a lesson I’m coming to grasp more and more.

Now before you jump on my back, I’ve already heard it all: Like what?

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eHarmony vs. Match vs. OK Cupid: A Face-off

If you’re a reader of my blog, you know I dabble in three main online dating sites: eHarmony, Match, and OK Cupid.

And while they’re all websites for dating online (see what I did there?), all online dating sites are NOT created equal.

So if you’re taking the plunge, then continue forward, because this is priceless insight and copious quantities of invaluable information.  What really is the difference between these online dating sites?

Onward!

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The Ugly Duck Theory

I have no clue what makes us attracted to the people we find ourselves attracted to.  I’m sure there must be studies, but to me, it’s a total mystery.  Why, for example, are all my friends super stoked about Adam Levine (who I think is a total dud), and instead I’m all gaga over this idiot:

Matthew Gray Gubler

Matthew Gray Gubler

That’s right — Dr. Reid from Criminal Minds.  Every little nerdy, socially awkward, gangly, uncomfortable bit of him.

So as I delve into the world of online dating, I started to ask myself why I still respond to messages from hunky, muscly guys who take shirtless pictures of themselves in all their tattooed glory.  And I came up with a theory.

But first… let’s rewind.

Are you Quentin Tarentino-ing this?

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You’re beautiful, it’s true…

In online dating, it’s often assumed that you actually want to see what the person looks like. Silly concept, right?  But this is why when I see that terrifying grayed out silhouette of a man’s profile appear next to the name John or Gary or Charizard, I delete it. Immediately (if not sooner). I don’t know what this person looks like. What are you hiding from me?  What do you have going on that I don’t know about?

So pictures — very important. They say a lot about you.

For instance, if a guy pretty much exclusively has selfies of himself, I think, “dude, why don’t you have any friends who could take a picture of you?”

If a guy has a bunch of pictures where he’s showing off his abs, or he’s shirtless, or he’s flexing, I think, “great, you’re a self-obsessed meat-head who is going to give me a hard time when I’m eating my third pint of Haagen Dazs Peanut Butter Pie.” Are there more types of pictures? You betcha!

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The Ultimatum

Let’s begin with a little bit of history.

I signed up for eHarmony in March of 2013.  Within a week, I had met someone who I dated for the next few months.  We broke up in July and about a month later I decided to dive back in to online dating.

And this was when it all went south.

Dun Dun Dunnnn…

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Let’s Talk About It

Ok, it’s finally time for the long awaited post on e-harmony’s exceptionally laborious communication system.  Stick with me here, because this post will pertain to a lot of future posts (and, as you’ve noticed, I’ve already talked about it in my first three posts without even explaining what it is.  Bad, Carin.)

So someone catches your eye on e-harmony.  You think, “hey, that guy’s pretty cute.  Plus he has the exact hair color I’m looking for in a boyfriend, and he loves guacamole!” (or whatever regular people think when they look at someone’s profile), and you decide to message him.  Could this be a simple and easy way to meet the person you could spend the rest of your life with?!

Of course not.

You think that’s the end!? There’s more…

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