Tag Archives: match

The online dating commercial that went awry

This week I’ve been binge watching Scandal because I’m super behind. You know, the show where everyone is either getting shot and bleeding out in a car trunk, or otherwise they’re having sex with the President. Or maybe both. Simultaneously.

Anyway, the reason this is relevant is because when I’m behind on a TV show, I watch it On Demand. And when you watch a show On Demand, chances are you’ll see the same commercial over and over and over again. (I feel like this blog post is turning into one of those commercials where the final message is “don’t eat fried chicken out of a garbage bin! Switch to Geico!”) I wound up in just such a predicament — watching the same commercial for one online dating site over and over and over again. At first, it didn’t bother me, but remember: I’m on a Scandal watching binge, meaning as I write this, I’m four episodes deep and things are starting to get weird. Pretty soon, I can probably expect Russian/Iraqi/Canadian spies to come bursting in and kidnap me to take me to some hole in the floor or something. I don’t know what’s happening anymore. But I do know by now, I’ve seen this online dating commercial a lot.

What you may or may not know about me is I work in communications. I am, in fact, a master of communications. No, wait, I have a Master’s in communications. I keep trying to get people to call me Master Carin, sort of like if I had a Ph.D. they’d call me Doctor, but no luck so far. I digress…

So with all of my awesome communication know-how, I started to really process this commercial… and the more I watched it, the more I realized it is really the anti-commercial. This commercial 100% makes me not want to invest in their dating site. So here it is:

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The Chore Of Dating

This is a lesson I’m coming to grasp more and more.

Now before you jump on my back, I’ve already heard it all: Like what?

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Baby we were born to run (but not together)

Guys like athletic girls.

I get it.

That’s why Sporty Spice was the most popular of the Spice Girls (wait… that can’t be right).

But the point is, if I had a nickle for every time a guy said he wants to date a girl who is sporty, athletic, enjoys being “healthy,” physically fit, toned, etc. etc. etc… I’d have like at least 5 whole dollars.  And do you know what I’d do with that $5?  Go buy a burrito.

Where’s the beef?

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eHarmony vs. Match vs. OK Cupid: A Face-off

If you’re a reader of my blog, you know I dabble in three main online dating sites: eHarmony, Match, and OK Cupid.

And while they’re all websites for dating online (see what I did there?), all online dating sites are NOT created equal.

So if you’re taking the plunge, then continue forward, because this is priceless insight and copious quantities of invaluable information.  What really is the difference between these online dating sites?

Onward!

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The Ugly Duck Theory

I have no clue what makes us attracted to the people we find ourselves attracted to.  I’m sure there must be studies, but to me, it’s a total mystery.  Why, for example, are all my friends super stoked about Adam Levine (who I think is a total dud), and instead I’m all gaga over this idiot:

Matthew Gray Gubler

Matthew Gray Gubler

That’s right — Dr. Reid from Criminal Minds.  Every little nerdy, socially awkward, gangly, uncomfortable bit of him.

So as I delve into the world of online dating, I started to ask myself why I still respond to messages from hunky, muscly guys who take shirtless pictures of themselves in all their tattooed glory.  And I came up with a theory.

But first… let’s rewind.

Are you Quentin Tarentino-ing this?

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You’re beautiful, it’s true…

In online dating, it’s often assumed that you actually want to see what the person looks like. Silly concept, right?  But this is why when I see that terrifying grayed out silhouette of a man’s profile appear next to the name John or Gary or Charizard, I delete it. Immediately (if not sooner). I don’t know what this person looks like. What are you hiding from me?  What do you have going on that I don’t know about?

So pictures — very important. They say a lot about you.

For instance, if a guy pretty much exclusively has selfies of himself, I think, “dude, why don’t you have any friends who could take a picture of you?”

If a guy has a bunch of pictures where he’s showing off his abs, or he’s shirtless, or he’s flexing, I think, “great, you’re a self-obsessed meat-head who is going to give me a hard time when I’m eating my third pint of Haagen Dazs Peanut Butter Pie.” Are there more types of pictures? You betcha!

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