Tag Archives: valentine’s day

The Price of Love

There are a lot of things in my life that I would just rather pay someone to do for me than actually do it myself. Change my car’s oil. Cut my hair. Put on my shoes in the morning. You know, the usual stuff. Sometimes, I just can’t be bothered to learn how to do this shit for myself, or frankly I’ll never do it as well as someone else. That’s why the TV dinner industry exists — for people like me who subsist on crappy frozen food because I simply cannot figure out how to properly roast a chicken. Have you tried? It’s impossible.

So of course it makes TOTAL sense that when it comes to finding a mate, entrepreneurs stepped up and said “hey, people will pay for anything. Let’s make them pay to meet their husband or wife!”… and we FELL FOR IT!

So the question I want to address here is… how much is it worth to meet the woman or man of your dreams? What really is the price of love?

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Happy Valentine’s Ya Filthy Animal!

Valentine’s Day is often (un)affectionately referred to as “Singles Awareness Day.” As if I wasn’t aware of my singleness the other 364 days of the year.

So this Valentine’s Day I decided to celebrate Mardi Gras. That is, until the sky decided to poop out a bunch of snow that no one expected. So, you know… that happened.

Instead, I’ve decided maybe I should spend more time being aware that I’m single. Maybe actually being single, having my Facebook status say “single,” checking all the boxes on my taxes as “single,” and having a blog about being single just isn’t enough. Maybe I should have spent more time on February 14th really pondering what it means to be single. But since February 14th passed me by, let’s make February 17th the day to reeeallly dig into singleness. Let’s make February 17th “hey, you don’t have a boy/girlfriend!” day. It can be the day when your grandparents call you and ask if you’ve found a boy/girlfriend yet and your parents can ask why you’re still single and maybe its finally time to meet their coworker’s nephew who has that weird way that they slurp when they eat, but it’s really not THAT bad. And then your friends can have double dates with each other and you can stay at home because you don’t have anyone to double date with, so instead you can drink a bottle of cheap wine by yourself and cry into a large Papa Johns pizza while you watch Pretty Woman and think, “how did that skanky prostitute end up with Richard Gere? Maybe if I sang Prince in the bathtub I’d have a boyfriend, too.” Let’s make that a holiday. It seems like it would be less depressing to do that on a “holiday” than just some random Tuesday. And let’s make that holiday start today.

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